I really can’t justify any sort of discussion about the Revs right now. The SuperLiga? yawn. The US Open Cup? Well I’m not going to New Britain but I will have something to say about that after the match. It could be Edgaras Jankauskas’ Revs debut and the first Gabriel Badilla sighting in a long time.

If you’re a fan of the US Men’s Soccer team you are going to have to get over the disappointment of Sunday’s loss to Brazil in the Confederations Cup Final even quicker than most of the team who played in the match.

Most of that team will now turn its attention to rest, relaxation, and a certain August 12th match-date below the border.

US fans don’t have the luxury of such a break and neither do Charlie Davies, Freddy Adu, Heath Pearce, and Luis Robles. That’s because the Gold Cup starts this Friday and even though no Confederations Cup berth is at stake we have a reputation to improve (as fans) and uphold (as a team).

During my trip to Chicago to see the US play Honduras in a World Cup Qualifier it was really quite evident just how far the United States has to go with concern to fan support. There was a reported 56,000 people in the stadium that day and I would say about 38,000 of them were Honduran. Hopefully the US team can steal some of the momentum built up from their great Confederations Cup run and play in front of entirely pro-US crowds.

The team is going to need all the help it can get from the stands in the weeks to come. While I understand giving your big guns a rest after a strenuous tournament in South Africa with the big Mexican date looming. I am not in the camp that is just assuming the Nats will be at Giants Stadium for the final on the 25th of July. Costa Rica and Honduras are both sending close to full squads and showed that they can give the USMNT’s best XI a run for their money just within the last month. How will the inexperienced midfield, second-rate goalkeepers and youth of this team handle this challenge?

I can’t even begin to prognosticate what Bradley considers his best midfield out of this group and I’m sure there will be plenty of rotation with Grenada and Haiti as two of the opponents early on, but I will try my best, this has become a bit of preview of the Gold Cup without me really intending to do so.

US Midfield
I’m like everyone else in regards to Freddy Adu. I really hope he gets an extended run out to hopefully impress scouts of teams that will let him play and to give everyone else an idea of where he is best employed. I think the position I would most like to see him utilized is in a similar manner as Landon Donovan was in the Confederations Cup. He starts from the left but has a bit of free reign to roam where he is most needed. On the other wing I can see Stuart Holden gaining a considerable chunk of the minutes considering how well he’s been playing with Houston this year. Davy Arnaud’s veteran presence, the enigma that is Santino Quaranta and Robbie Rogers will also get play on the wings.

The center of the midfield is where all the real questions are. So seriously, don’t take my word for it, you could actually skip ahead to the next section right now.

Thanks for continuing though if you did.  Kyle Beckerman will be relied on quite a bit as one of the more experienced center mids and Logan Pause has always been a steady presence in the Chicago Fire midfield. If I had my pick of the group they would be my starting central partnership. Young guys like Sam Cronin, Colin Clark, and Brad Evans will be in the mix as well but their relative competitive inexperience makes me question how useful they will be in a hostile crowd or a tough knockout round match.

The US Defense
This is the group that I have the most faith in. There is plenty of experience here and several guys who have a real, legitimate, shot at a roster spot for 2010. The central of the defense will be anchored by veteran Jimmy Conrad who has always been a good soldier for the Nats. The other center back spot is expected to go to Chad Marshall who has been the best MLS center back over the past last year (Bakary Soumare may have something to say about that.) Two players who ply their trade in the Nordic region will also compete for playing time as well. Clarence Goodson who is a big question mark to many fans and Michael Parkhurst, who the Midnight Riders are very familiar with, both have the most to prove out of this group. Steve Cherundolo, who up until a week ago was everyone’s first choice for right back when healthy, might have lost his job to Jonathan Spector but is still a classy player, and with over 50 caps he has the most out of this group by a substantial amount. Heath Pearce certainly seems to have the best claim to left back but his recent drop in form may give Jay Heaps more minutes than many expect for the surprise call up.

US Forwards
Brian Ching will log the most minutes out of this group. He may not have the best scoring record out of the US forwards but he does all of little things very well. Charlie Davies fresh off of his breakthrough Confederations Cup performance will be expected to show up in this tournament as well and continue to score goals. If he keeps this up the European clubs from the more soccer hungry nations will show up to save him from his Hammarby Hell.

Like Freddy Adu, Kenny Cooper’s lack of caps with the Nats has been a big issue with many fans. Like Adu, Cooper should get his chances here in this tournament. If he can show he can be productive in front of goal and work within the system like Ching, it could go a long way to his making the 2010 WC roster.

My expected line up from Bob Bradley:
———————–Perkins————————-
–Cherundolo—-Marshall—-Conrad———Pearce—–
—————-Pause——–Beckerman—————
—-Holden———————————-Adu——-
—————–Ching——-Davies——————–

AO Boston
If you want to show your support for the United States in person, AO Boston has you covered for the Nats return to Foxboro. AO Boston is working with the Riders and Sam’s Army to sell discounted tickets to the USA v. Haiti match on July 11th. Tickets for the supporters section will be $23 and can be purchased by sending money via Paypal to Monty Rodrigues at patfan1@yahoo.com.

Once you have your ticket you’re going want to get in the proper mood to support the team. That is why AO Boston is throwing a Night Before Pre-game Party on the 10th. Get to the Banshee Pub in Dorchester, Ma for free dinner, cold beer, and plenty of wild partying. It will be a great time.

The next day, if you’re from out of town or if you’re from Boston and are sick of driving all the way down to Gillette Stadium, AO Boston is running a bus from the same Banshee Pub, day of game, for $11. We’re going to meet at the Banshee Pub in the morning and depart for the stadium at 1pm. We encourage everyone to go to the Banshee for breakfast and brews in the morning.

This trip will include beer and food at the tailgate, although you are always encouraged to bring your own reinforcements. We should return back at the Banshee Pub by 11pm. There is plenty of free on-street parking around the Banshee and it is accessible by the Red Line, too. Please send $11 to garrett.quinn.3000@gmail.com via paypal to reserve your spot on the bus.

So no rest for the weary, or depressed, let get behind the Nats and before we know it the SuperLiga will be over.

I have been incredibly busy playing soccer 4 days a week, working, volunteering to help make the Breakers cool and going to the Revs games. Now that my excuses are out of the way let me explain what’s going on here. I started this entry a long time ago (2 weeks or so) and never got around to finishing it until now.

I wanted this to be a full recap of my time in Chicago but I hardly feel that it holds much relevance in these modern news times where information moves at the speed of light or whatever. Most of the trip was spent in an alcohol-induced haze, which certainly doesn’t help my memory much. And really, the quicker you read this (I hope you at least read this) the quicker you get to post comments. So I’ve taken great artistic liberty and decided to share just two stories from that great weekend. I’m sure I’ll be littering my future posts with other fanciful quips from the trip as well.

By now you’ve probably heard about the great march from the bar and all the wild antics of the sore-losing Hondurans but what I am about to share was not covered by any of the other professional writers in attendance. The first story involves a certain female on our trip who had made a promise to “make-out” with some dudes at some point during the trip. Well she made good on that promise and made sure everyone in the supporters section was fully aware of it as well. “Hey Camille!” she yelled, garnering my attention with a wave. Her next move was to immediately explore the inside of a young man’s mouth with her tongue. It was an impressive display that preceded an impressive display by the United States Men’s National Team; though I’m not too sure the two events had much to do with each other.

In the not-so-impressive-display department is my other memorable story of the trip. Alerted to the fat, bald man atop the U-Haul fan by the encouraging cheers, I was intrigued. His presence appeared to be greatly appreciated by the throngs of American Outlaws and when he was handed a funnel full of beer I could certainly see why. He was taking on the Hand of Justice in a very public trial. In the interest of brevity, the Hand of Justice is a funnel that pretty much decides if you can party or not. Finish the funnel and you pass the test. If not, prepare for the scourge of drunken soccer fans to be brought upon you.

After lifting the funnel to his lips you could tell this man wasn’t up for the challenge of taking a cold beer down in a few chugs. He proceeded to spill about half of it on the top of the van. This angered the crowd and our challenger quickly turned from face to heal. In an attempt to win back his short-lived spot as most loved guy at the tailgate the fat and bald guy poured the rest of the beer in the funnel over his head. This just drove his popularity level down even further as the tailgate was suffering a severe beer drought thanks to several hours of heavy drinking. Beer was not to be wasted!

Realizing that his moment of glory was now over, fat and bald guy went to step down from the van. Unfortunately for him, the combination of cold beer and smooth fiberglass van roof rendered the surface as slick as an ice rink. He quickly went flailing through the air and down to ground, but instead of a nice piece of pavement awaiting his impact there was a fiery grill with the aforementioned hot coals. Needless to say the crowd gasped in horror fearing the worse. Fat and bald man was in fact burned–probably quite badly–but he jumped up, said he was fine, and ran off into the crowd, most likely in search of his friends and a first aid kit. It is a moment that I will always remember; it is not every day that you get to see a man suffer a severe injury in front of a crowd because of his own stupidity.

I would also like to take this chance to point out some more of New England soccer’s finest amateur soccer players and congratulate them on the Open League West Co-ed Session 4 title. Stallions FC defeated some team full of cry-babies (especially that little girl who cherry picks all the time) in the finals to claim their first piece of silverware this season. They also claimed two free pitchers of beer and t-shirts.

Hilltop FC has also begun EMMSA action for the fourth consecutive summer.

SuperLiga Preview

If you thought that they tanked the US Open Cup last year to rest players, just wait until you see this year’s display in the SuperLiga. Sure they turned in a gutsy performance last Sunday against Santos Laguna, but I really can’t see them risking any of their top-notch talent in this tournament. Shalrie and Twellman were already ruled out for the whole tournament before it started and after Sunday’s match don’t expect to see Kevin Alston or Steve Ralston either. Luckily, the Revs have some tested depth that should keep them in most matches. But without Ralston, Shalrie and Twellman there just aren’t enough goals in the squad to win silverware. Let’s just hope that the Revs can use this time to get healthy enough to make a playoff run and maybe take the US Open Cup half-serious.

The American Outlaws: Boston - Taking over everything

Boston conquer the White Mountains

The boys and I recently decided to show that, despite our incredibly well taken care of looks, we also have an overwhelming amount of masculinity.  The best way to do this is by taking on a treacherous mountain.  We drove up to the White Mountains on Memorial Day weekend and tamed the peaks of Mount Liberty and Mount Flume. Naturally, it was a rousing success.

We spent the rest of the weekend enjoying the great outdoors by lounging on the Pemi River, playing an intense match of tennis where no one spoke to each other in kindness for the better part of two hours, and sleeping in bunk beds.  Four 24 year old adults, sharing a room just big enough to fit two bunk beds-it was the perfect weekend.

Next up for the American Outlaw side of the Rider Insider as far as conquering is concerned is the city of Chicago.

I will be there along with several other members of the American Outlaws: Boston to watch the US play Honduras in a crucial World Cup Qualifier.  It’s my first big trip for a US cap. After hearing all the wild stories about the US - Mexico match from earlier this year I have very high expectations.  Expect a very extensive blog on the whole experience, which will include my wild rush back from Logan Airport to get to Foxboro in time for the Revs game this weekend against the Corporate Sellouts.

If you are not lucky or cool enough to be going to Chicago for the match, head over to the Banshee Pub and watch it with the rest of the Outlaws.  We will also be there for this Wednesday’s match hoping the US can win in Costa Rica for the first time ever.

The Revs have depth?

I have yet to come down from the high of the Revs’ win over DC United.  The weather was amazing, the fort was the best it’s been since the Superliga final and we actually won. With Twellman back, Mansally showing off at his natural position (leave him there) and the back-line starting to gel, the team that we are going to see for the rest of the year is starting to take shape.  This, coupled with the news today that Chris Albright is very close to coming back from knee surgery, and after weeks of wondering who was going to have to play out of position in order to field a full eleven, we now have questions about who will be left on the bench.

At this point in time, I have to say it will be Albright.  The most recent back-line has played together for two games and showed marked improvement since their first opportunity.  Who would you leave out of the line up? Jay Heaps will always start unless, as Prairie said on Twitter today, “he is shot.” Emmanuel Osei has been a revelation as far as I am concerned.  He is a true hard-man that enforces the back-line but also possesses great calm on the ball and the deft touch of a midfielder.  The potential of Barnes’ and Alston’s smooth athletic games will not benefit in the least if they are left on the bench.

At this point in time it isn’t a bad problem to have too many solid players, by any means.  With Open Cup, SuperLiga and the busy international schedule there will be plenty of opportunities for everyone.  This could be the first time in recent memory that the Revs have anything approaching an effective bench.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  If I were you, I’d check back here next week to make sure this crazy time in Revs’ history hasn’t already passed.  A poor showing against the East Rutherford Metrobulls could turn me right back to thinking we don’t have any quality at all like I have for the better part of the season.

I really hope this isn’t the case since the great company that is Red Bull, the same one that is turning our youth into overweight, sugar-saturated, caffeine addicts will be sending their little corporate minions (”fans” as they like to be called) up to Foxboro by the hundreds and nothing is worse than losing at home in front of a decent group of traveling supporters.

Check back next week for a play-by-play of my soccer-filled weekend from the US in Chicago back to the Revs in Foxboro.

In the interim, as always, the comments section is the place for you to hang out and discuss whatever is on your mind or meet people for sex.  The shutting down of Craigslist adult services has opened up a void and the Rider Insider and his Camille Toes are happily stuffing it.

I didn’t get a chance to write about it earlier but I just wanted to take this chance to thank Maya for the birthday gift she gave me.  As you can tell by the picture above we’re the best of friends and have had many great times together.  I never ask of anything from her but there she is getting me a great birthday present for my 24th birthday.  You can see it right here:

Don't ever fake the funk on a nasty dunk!

It was a very special gift. Thank you Maya. You are a special friend.

I was going to write more about my celebrity filled birthday festivities but since the release of those controversial photos of myself and a certain teen movie icon I have been advised by my legal team to refrain from speaking any further on the evening.  If you have seen those photos I’m sure you can understand that a good time was had by all.

========================================================

Emmanuel Osei: The Real Deal

We heard about his athletic ability before he suited up but I don’t think those amateur scouting reports did the man justice.  Osei out jumped the immense Connor Casey on every 50/50 ball and showed a real calm on the ball usually reserved for veterans of the league.  On MyRevs there has already been talk of trying him out at center midfield which I am sure he would succeed at but right now the Revs need him to deputize on a backline that has two rookies and a veteran playing a new position.

The Revs will need all the help they can get at keeping DeRo and the rest of the Toronto attack off the board.  Osei’s composure will also help in what is sure to be a hostile sea of red at BMO Field.  I see a conservative approach with a very similar line-up as the Revs employed last weekend with Shalrie and Ralston up top.  I don’t like the idea of taking your best player (Shalrie) and playing him out of position but with the poor play of the Revs’ strike force I don’t blame Nicol for taking a chance.  Hopefully Assengue will get a chance to mix things up as a late substitute where his speed could put pressure on tired legs.  With all that said, I really don’t see the Revs getting a result this weekend.  I expect a close game but I don’t see where the Revs’ goals will come from and I see them falling 2 - 0.

Unfortunately, I won’t be at the game in Toronto like I have been for the last two years or viewing party at the Banshee.  I’ll be on vacation up in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, but if you’re around the city make it down to Dorchester for some quality day-time drinking and probably free stuff from the Revs.

Coach "Rockin' Awesome" Joe Butler

The best soccer team in New England is coached by the same dashing man who writes The One Armed Love Machine Blog.  He is pictured above. The team is a Middle School Co-Ed Indoor Soccer team and they have not lost all season and they are one match away, the Grand Final, from completing the perfect season. In an attempt to mess with their psyche and hype them into a false sense of predetermined destiny we sat down with the coach and asked him about his season and his team thus far.

Rider Insider: How did your team do last year?
Coach Butler: Last year we did super shitty with a record of 1 and 6.

RI: Who is the star?
CB: My star is a 7th grader who is destined for far greater things. Of our 56 goals scored over the 7 regular season games he scored 30 of them, 10 in our final regular season game.

RI: Do you pay him any money to play for your team?
CB: He gets no money but I may consider bringing him back from high school as a ringer. But that’s 2 years away.

RI: Do any of your players have girlfriends?
CB: As far as I know, none of my players have girlfriends. But I imagine they would if they weren’t so focused on the team. Same goes for my girls with regard to boyfriends.

RI: Have you picked up any chicks thanks  to your position as coach?
CB: I’ve picked up your chick thanks to my position as coach… also your mom.

RI: How do you think you’ll fair in the playoffs?
CB: These kids have busy schedules you know. But of the 7 teams we played there is only one team that we didn’t beat by at least four points. The second place team and other favorite to make it to the finals lost to us by only 1 point. They are my biggest concern in the post season. And lets face it… we live in New England, a magical land where stupid shit like Super Bowl XLII can happen. I haven’t cracked open that bottle of trophy polish just yet.

RI: Do your players get good grades?
CB: I don’t care about my players grades. There is no academic requirement to play on my team and I like it that way. Soccer first.

RI: What is the difference in the team this year?
CB: The difference in the team this year is 80% attitude. These are all good kids that get along, don’t complain and can follow directions. This translates into better performance on the field (court) and a happier coach. I only had a few of my players from last year come back and I’m glad they did, because they were the ones that we’re willing to work with me and with the talented 7th graders playing here for the first time.

RI: Do your players like you?
CB: Do my players like me? Who the hell knows, they’re teenagers. I make jokes that I think are hilarious and they look at me like I’m an idiot. When I accidentally swear I get laughs. I think they prefer playing for me than they would anywhere else because I am a very laid back coach. I don’t get mad, I don’t yell and I’m very willing to listen to suggestions. Although when it gets right down to it I’m going to do what I want because I am always right… but like I said, good team means happy coach means healthy atmosphere means more points on the board.

RI: What do they think of your sideburns?
CB: I assume they love my sideburns… everybody loves my sideburns. Wait a minute are you saying you don’t like my sideburns? Well I don’t like your face. Listen I’ve got some coffee cake staring at me just begging to be eaten.

As a note, I left out the team’s name and the players’ names for their own safety and avoidance of subsequent humiliation should they lose.  If you ask nicely in the comments below perhaps Coach will let you in on when and where the Final is being held and you can show up early, tailgate, get drunk, and cheer on the kids.

I’d like to thank all of the Camille Toes who made my birthday the special date that it deserves to be.  Those of you at the viewing party at the Banshee, which was fantastic, and those who came bowling at Lanes & Games on Sunday night, I appreciate it.  Also, you’re welcome for my gracing you with my presence.

The match on Saturday went pretty well.  If it didn’t come off the back of two miserable performances then we would have all commended the Revs for their gutsy road point.  As it is, the Revs have only scored one goal in a longer time than I can remember and the light at the end of this goalless is mostly likely Taylor Twellman who’s return is still up in the air.

The problem with this team is, there is no one to score goals.  Certainly the return of Ralston will result in some increased production but we still have the same finishers, and they’re all in a funk.  Since Dube injury last year he hasn’t been nearly as active or shown the ability to make the long run to get into a finishing position.  His good friend and counterpart, Mansally, can’t even seem to touch the ball right and found himself on the bench in favor of a player playing out of position (Joseph started of Kenny last match).

As usual, however, I’ve gotten to my post-game write-up too late into the week and you would most likely be better off checking out LE Eisenmenger or one of the other pros for that sort of article.  The reason for this is that the pros most likely spent the time immediately after the match writer their “gamer.” 

I, on the other hand, went out to “celebrate” the draw and my birthday.  Thanks to one Garrett Quinn for the gas-guzzling ride over to Our House West.  A great time was had and many Brubakers were consumed.  They live up to their reputation as one of the worst beers to date.  Absolutely horrible and the recycled bottles sticky feel do not add to the enjoyment.

Another set of thank-yous I would like to extend to all the females I convinced to buy me birthday drinks.  I will never see you again.  I would also like to bring up the small Asian girl who was hellbent on bringing me home.  You spent over $100 on drinks which was nice, but I’m accounted for in the female department and couldn’t take up your offer.  Every individual in my traveling party was willing to replace me in your planned late night rendezvous.  So in closing, your loss, Jim Duggan is an exquisite lover.  (In a related note, keep your eyes peeled for Dave Gelman’s new blog on the topic of “picking up chicks with lines involving Taco Bell.”)

This weekend

 In a quick update, Groton House FC is on a great run of form. We’ve won three straight league games to storm to second in the Division 2 of the BSSL and we won our first cup match in convincing style, 4-1.  We look to continue our run out in Lancaster, Massachusetts at Progin Park this Saturday at 12 pm.  After the match, it will be straight off to Riders Lot at Gillette Stadium where I will do my best to put off cool vibes and no go into World of Warcraft withdrawal.  Please come see me JRocc, I may need your help.

Sunday morning I’ll be brunching at the Landing and watching Liverpool even though I won’t be able to have beer and then in the afternoon I’ll be in the press box for the Breakers Game.

Expect plenty to come next week about this weekend and my recent purchase of tickets for the USA v. Honduras World Cup Qualifier in Chicago on June 6th. 

Trade Party!

Sorry, but every blog needs a picture.  Just know that the Rider Inside loves you.

That’s why he’s blogging late at night just to give you the inside dish on the newest Rev, Nico Colaluca. Pretty much all of your questions about the HUGE, MEGA deal and Colaluca can be answered here by the Colorado Rapids Examiner Deron White.

It really says a lot about the recent state of the Revs when you see how interested and excited the fan base got when rumors of this deal began to surface.  I noted about 5 facebook status messages referring to the potential deal within a half-hour. We’d most likely kill the interwebz if the Revs made a noteworthy move by any other team’s standards.  At least we didn’t end up with draft picks right?

Don’t get me wrong, though, I’m pleased with this trade.  With Barnes, Heaps, Osei, Badilla, et al, able to play center back, Valentino was the odd man out.  Trading him for a local product, who actually wants to be in Foxboro, and plays a need position is good business.  Hopefully Nico will be able to challenge REVS LEGEND WELLS THOMPSON for minutes and be the type of player who provides good service for our struggling attack.  If he’s a total bum, well you didn’t really waste much more than an ass full of splinters anyways.

Thanks to L.E. Eisenmenger and her Twitter feed (http://www.twitter.com/madisonroad [follow her, if you care about soccer in New England you already should be]) for bringing this link to my attention.

Also, I demand that all Camille Toes join the Barra Revolución Latina debate over on MyRevs.  I expect you all to take my side and demand that Brad Feldman explains himself for gushing over the BRL.  Believe it or not, MyRevs isn’t just to be used for trying to pick up Revs Girls, it can also be used as a tool to get the answers you want.  And besides, what has Feldman ever done? Has Oprah, Figo, or Maya Angelou posted on his “Broadcast Booth Bits?”  I don’t think so!

Our balls are in your court, Feldman!

The banshee didn't suck.

Sorry for the long break in between posts, Camille Toes. But for the last two weeks, everything and everybody sucks.  I can even put my finger on when it began. It started when I asked Garrett to get me somewhere on time. Here’s the story:

***

It’s Saturday night and Garrett has brought me to the Banshee Pub.  Since we’re running on Garrett time we’re late.  And not fashionably so, we roll into the bar with 10 minutes left in the half.  (No excuses Garrett, no one wants to hear them! Thanks for the ride though.)

I’m impressed by the fact that the game is actually on.  And what is that over there? It’s free food. How delightful.  There’s even a dedicated bartender just to serve the Midnight Riders and Rev Army members who put their lives on the line by venturing into Dorchester. It’s decided by everyone there that we’re coming back to the Banshee.

It’s Garrett’s birthday so I buy him a shot. But he’s driving so I take it myself. Jack Daniels. Things from there got a little bit fuzzy. Goals being scored. People swearing. The Revs lose. A strange couple downstairs humping the crap out of each other. Horse The Band. Hipsters everywhere. People talking shit about Fran and Joe in some apartment on Forest Hills St. A girl in her underwear on a hammock on a porch.

I awake in my friend’s apartment on Beacon Hill.

-Dude, do you want some water or something? You look like shit.

-Oh, thanks. Why am I here?

Both my arms are asleep under the crush of my body. They don’t feel attached anymore. Pins and needles and all that shit.

-You refused to go home and you had to go somewhere. You were harassing the lady in charge of the line at the diner. I have to run though; I’m meeting my dad for lunch.

It’s 1 pm. I slept all day. I try to sit up and feel like my head is going to explode. I start looking for something to restore my being to a more normal level. Tearing through cabinets and drawers, there’s nothing. I remember that he broke up with girlfriend not too long ago and his now lonely apartment has a kitchen to match. I eat an entire bag of leftover Reese’s Candy Eggs which despite my complaints are relatively satisfying.

The apartment is hot and sticky and I manage to catch of whiff of my very own stench and it’s the unmistakable stench of stale beer, mostly likely coming out of my pores. I have to go home and shower, luckily it’s only a 45-minute T ride away.

The sweet, artificial peanut butter is fueling me forward towards Park Street. There are so many people outside enjoying their day and I despise all of them. The bright sun is giving me a splitting headache and I am not looking forward to the T ride ahead.

Naturally, the T is packed; I jam in next to a woman with a really chubby baby. The woman gives me a disapproving look; I assume my odor has given her the wrong impression of me. Her baby starts crying and doesn’t stop until they get off at Chestnut Hill. The baby is overweight and is covered in food stains and crumbs. The love of food must run in the family because the mother is also fat. I picture the mother eating in a manner similar to that of Cookie Monster and the baby living quite well by scavenging off of the mother’s crumbs and scraps.

The green line is so terrible. I still don’t understand how the D line can even have delays if it doesn’t have to deal with traffic.

Then mercifully, finally, I am home.

- Yo, what happened to Revs last night?

- They sucked.

***

I think we were all in denial after that game two weeks ago. They would surely turn it around in the next match, at home with struggling Houston coming to town. What we were served instead was big steaming pile of suck. A real toothless performance, that when coupled with the 6-0 match of a week ago may just show us the fiber of this team’s fabric: A team with no experience and a lot of raw, unpolished ability. This team may have the makings of a competitor a few years down the road but right now they don’t look capable of anything positive. If they had some championship grace period to work with, a rebuilding year would be acceptable, but we never got that championship, did we? I’ll try to keep the negative rant to a minimum here in regards to the team since I’m sure it is all you’ve read about in the last few days.

***

In addition to the Revs, the T, and Fran and Joe all sucking, the Barra Revolución Latina also sucked. I don’t understand why Brad Feldman showered them with praise throughout the telecast of the game and then continued to in his Broadcast Booth Bits article as well. I usually feel that Feldman doesn’t blatantly push the company agenda and he seems like he could even be a decent guy (he lists Red Wings as his preferred pre-match hang out) but his praise of this new “Supporters Group” seems a little bit misplaced. I wish I had taken a picture of them all sitting down huddled in the rain. I didn’t even realize their presence until 40 minutes of the match had passed. Sure the game was miserable and LE Eisenmenger made a good point on Twitter when she wrote, “La Barra had good reason to be quiet, if they were loud I’d suspect capitalism. Hope they return.” But the Midnight Riders, Rev Army, and the rest of the fort didn’t get quiet during the rest of the match? That’s not the point of in-match support. You’re supposed to continue on cheering and hopefully spur the club on to a better performance.  I’d love for the BRL to come back and make a difference in the Fort.  The Fort needs all the help it can get but I just hope they show enough dedication to team to make it the full 90 no matter the weather.

***

Wow this got very lengthy; I guess I had a lot to say. Thanks for reading Camille Toes, I await your entertaining responses. Look forward to a post later this week on the Breakers and our next viewing party. Also, Maya, I left you tickets at the gate the last two games and you haven’t picked them up. Is there something the matter?

If there’s one thing that I’ve realized since I started posting again it’s that my fans can’t get enough of me.  You follow me on Twitter, send me naked pictures of yourself via email, and have sex with me in your dreams.  Now the Revs organization has released the ultimate tool to use when showing your devotion to the Rider Insider: MyRevs on defendthefort.net!

Since it is a given that I will have the most friends on MyRevs it will be a great place for you to discuss the highbrow issues that the Insider discusses in his blogs on an even more intimate basis.  You’ll be able to find other Camille Toes and friend them which will most likely lead to very fruitful relationships. If you know what I mean.  I will also put some awesome links to awesome post from some of my awesome friends. At first glance it gets the Insider’s Camille Toe of Approval.

See you on MyRevs.

Now for a life changing experience…

Check out this post on the best blog other than this one you’re currently reading:

http://somekindahat.blogspot.com/2009/04/rev-girls-new-acquisition.html

Joe, the talented, handsome blogger thinks that Brad has a chance to catch on with the Rev Girls but with all that sex appeal I think he should be the first Breaker Boy.

If I get around to it I may do a game preview for this Saturday.  If not, see you at the Banshee, buy me a Guinness.

So it is safe to say that McGreevy’s went better than expected. Revs Fans pretty much took over the bar, singing, drinking and having a great time. You could barely even tell that the Sox were even playing a game on TV, never mind that I was a half-mile down the street. You also could see that the front office really cared about the success of the night. Word of mouth alone should allow this type of event to grow and gain momentum.
As a bit of a surprise, players Kevin Alston, Zach Simmons, and Taylor Twellman made appearances at the Copley Square bar. All stayed to the end, except for Twellman who left at half-time after being overhead say the following to Brian Bilello:

“”I’m getting the ‘F’ out of here, I will be across the street for the Sox game. Text me if you want me to make an appearance or something at the end.”

When I first heard this I imagined that it was Twellman back up to his douche-like antics. I imagined him heading across the street to some swanky lounge with his very busy Ed Hardy shirt on full display for the 2nd rate Victoria Secret model wannabes there just waiting to share his company.

Fortunately for me, and for Twellman, my assumption was wrong. According to some of the front office brass on hand for the event, it was too hard for Twellman to watch as he is so desperate to be out on the pitch. I’m willing to give Twellman the benefit of the doubt here. As a professional athlete he is wired to be more competitive than most and not being able to play is likely eating him up inside. I hope he can give me the benefit of the doubt for assuming he was being a douche.

The rest of the night was a lot of fun and I’m sure most of you have funny stories of encountering surprised Red Sox fans in the bathroom or avoiding the parasite-like Rev Girls so if you haven’t checked it out already there is a pretty good thread recounting the night here on BigSoccer.

Also, if you’re wondering why the Revs haven’t posted their photos of the Rev Girls on defendthefort.net, I think it is safe to say the reason is Kdawg. Kdawg spent most of his energy that night getting behind photos taken by team officials and giving the finger or making other unsavory faces and gestures. Nice one, K.

The rest of my weekend…

After McGreevy’s I took a relatively low-key approach and went to The Otherside Café for a PBR and some food and then out to Brookline, to a regular watering hole of mine, the Publick House. I was in bed by 12:30 AM, a pretty tame night for the Rider Insider, indeed. The reason, which I’m sure all Camille Toes are wondering, was that I had a soccer match at 10:00 AM the following morning. I wanted to be in fine working condition for my first career start in net, filling in for our suspended keeper.

My roommates, who also double as my teammates on Groton House FC, did not take the same responsible approach and got rip-roaring drunk while dancing the night away at the Harp. When I was awoken by the shit-storm that was my roommates returning at 3 am I knew that I was going to be responsible for getting everyone to the field on time. After a dry-heave-filled car ride to Daheny Park in Cambridge it was pretty hard for the Insider to take a positive outlook on the match to come. My roommates were still drunk. Somehow, thanks to best defensive performance ever turned in since I became a part of the squad, Groton House FC was able to overcome the poor decisions made the evening before by my roommates. The win took GHFC to 1-1-0 and gave us our first win this season towards our goal of promotion.

Totally wiped out by the game I could only manage a trip to Rod Dee for some delicious Thai food and the Brookline Booksmith where I picked up Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned by Wells Tower. While I haven’t been able to finish the book yet it is well on its way to being the first Rider Insider recommendation of 2009 on the Rider Insider Camille Toe Book Club.

I know most of you are riveted by this quick view into how the Rider Insider spends his free time but to all of you doubters out there, like everything, there is a method to my madness. Thanks to the actions that I took all weekend I was able to give my good blessing to a bar for the next viewing party.

When I woke up on Sunday I was desperate to go out and drink having not gotten sufficiently drunk in over 48 hours. I recruited Garrett, who first had to complete some chores around the house, and my roommate Kdawg , who had not enjoyed a sober moment since 5 pm Friday evening, to take part in some daytime drinking on a beautiful Sunday morning / afternoon. After quite a few Guinness at the Phoenix Landing for the FA Cup semi-final we somehow allowed Garrett to convince us to go to The Banshee in Dorchester. This was my first Banshee experience and I have to say that it was an enjoyable one. The great upstairs bar and viewing area are an added bonus and that is why it is receiving the Rider Insider Camille Toe of Approval for this Saturday’s match at 9 pm against Colorado. McGreevy’s was great fun but without the team backing the event and the later start time The Banshee would be a far better situation for fans of me and of the Revs. Check back here later this week for more info on the viewing party.

The lasting effects of the MLS Marketing to families and the stupid parents who bought into it…

Seamus came across this little gem last week: Little Gem

First of all, yes, I’m as surprised as you that Boston.com has a forum dedicated to soccer talk. I assume that it is probably treated with the same dedicated neglect that their blog is shown so I would recommend staying away on a regular basis. If anything of note comes out of there we will be sure to let you know. Just like this crazy parent who doesn’t like how we say “you suck” during the Revs game. While it is admittedly quite juvenile, the chant stems from one in Mexico that is even more offensive. The offender has already received their fair share of a rebuttal in the forum so I will refrain from diving in too deeply but I will say that some basic parenting skills should allow this person to watch a match and enjoy the game even with a word as vile as “suck” being tossed around. Does this same person say the same thing on Red Sox message boards? I wonder how Sox fans would receive such criticism. You can really blame this type of attitude that we see far too often on the MLS and the Revs trying to cultivate a family-friendly atmosphere at their matches. Not only was this approach not a successful business model (see adult-oriented teams in Seattle and Toronto) but it has also left the general fan-base rather confused about acceptable behavior. The Revs have made strides this season but they need to continue to attempt to educate their fans in how soccer support around the world differs from that of other American sports so that they can understand what the Fort is trying to achieve and not waste their time complaining about a non-problem on message boards that no one other than Seamus reads.